Lost
by Shakia
Summary: Immiedietly after Phear Phactor Phenom. Harper is thinking over the past three years and what he's been through in them.


Title: Lost  
  
Author: Shakia  
  
Summary: Immiedietly after Phear Factor Phenom. Harper is thinking over the past three years and what he's been through.  
  
Spoilers: DEFINATLEY from the most newest aired ep., Phear Factor Phenom (at least it is when I post this X.x)  
  
Author's Notes: (PLEASE READ THIS) After watching Phear Facter Phenom I couldn't resist writing this. I really wanted to get into Harper's life and his feelings about the three years he had spent on that planet after Trance had flashed them all there. Anyways, I tried to stick to all the details of the show and think I did pretty well. And agian the whole Fanfiction's getting rid of any way to seperate different things has made this story really confusing. I've tried to make so the dividing symbols appear in the writting, but it never works. So, in a last resort kind of thing I've put PT for Present Time and FB for Flash Back....And also I wrote this after I saw Phear Factor Phenom and have not yet seen the next episode following that one because it hasn't aired yet! ;; So, if you read this after watching that episode and you notice I get something wrong with it because of a later episode, just remember that. Anyways, please, please review and tell me what you think!  
  
The Magog's grip tightened and Harper felt fear consume him, blinding him. He felt his heart hammer agianst his chest, going faster and faster; making it feel like it was going to burst though his chest at any moment. He was going to die by this Magog. The death which he vowed never to have. The one he had avoided for so long was now going to be it. Worst of all he was going to die alone.  
Then suddenly a bright flash surrounded him. A strange and eerie sensation ran through his body as the light grew ever brighter. Then, suddenly, it was gone. He collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath. First he thought he was dead, but after realizing he could still feel the pain from the Magog's claws and the horrible migrian that throbbed his head he knew he was somehow alive. He swallowed and looked around him, wincing slightly. The land was very dark and desolite. The blueish mountians and ground that stretched across the land seemed to add to the icolation. Harper looked over his shoulder and froze, terror gripping him at the site. After what felt like eternity he slowly turned his body around, his eyes never leaving the sight before him. Pieces scattered across the ground; none seeming to even function. Pieces of Rommie. The memory flashed through his mind like a blazing fire. She had saved him. Died for him. He screwed his eyes tight to get a hold of his emotions as they began to pour out from him. When he finally did open his eyes they remained on the piles of what could only be discribed as scrap metal before him. As he studied them a sudden thought hit him. Beka, Dyllan, Rhade, Trance. What had become of them? For a fleeting moment he thought he was utterly alone, but dismissed it. They had to be around here. If the light had saved him, then why not the rest of them? He took great effort in struggling to his feet before wearily scanning the abandoned land before him. His eye caught the remenants of Rommie once more and he felt sorrow and guilt pierce through him like a sword. She was dead. The thought made a shiver run down his spine. They had been through ten times worse and this is what had killed her. No. He wouldn't let her die like this. He would fix her. Whatever it took, he would fix her.  
He found himself kneeling beside her, downloading what was left of her onto his handhald; one of the only things that had made it through the vortex with him. He would fix her when finding the others, he vowed. He winced as he lifted her robotic head, the only piece that was intact. He then turned around and ventured off into the wilderness, hoping he would find them sooner rather than later.  
---PT-  
Harper sat at his desk, staring at the items before him. His eyes were glazed over and he was deep in thought. He felt the emotions that had been due to arrive when Dyllan stepped into his sight stir within him. He gave a frustrated sigh and raked his hand through his hair briefly. No, Dyllan didn't care about him anymore. None of them did. Besides, they never came when he had needed them. What gave them the right to come in three years later and judge him when he had been living like that. Barley living. Clinging onto the false hope that they'd be back to save him.  
With that last thought he suddenly shot up out of his chair and agrrivatedly paced up and down the lab; trying to focus his thoughts elsewhere. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't. A lump caught in his throat as he recalled a few memories from the Maru and Andromeda. Dyllan's birthday. The good times when he and Beka had been on the Maru. Heck, even the times they were threatened with certian death. But through it all they had always had eachother. They had always been there for eachother. Harper had learned that in this world you can't count on anyone to care about you. Here when you died, you died alone. Harper let out a shaky breath. They didn't care about him, he told himself. Those memories didn't mean anything. Even if he didn't believe this, he continued to tell himself it.  
Harper hadn't even realized that he had stopped pacing quite a while ago. Now he was leaning agianst the wall, feeling utterly lost. Why should he, though? Just because they finally decided to come visit him and try to destroy everything he had done these past three years. Didn't they realize how long that was? Three agonizing years. It felt like five times the time he had spent on Andromeda. And here he had been alone. There had been no one else so he had to compromise in order to survive. Why couldn't they see that? He sighed agian as his mind drifted back to the first year here.  
---FB-  
"Don't worry Rommie, we'll find them. I mean they gotta be somewhere around here, right?" He asked nervously the unresponsive pieces of metal before him. It had been four months since he had arived and he had barley survived with no one there. He had about gone crazy from it, but since he was used to dealing with the sort of thing he managed to stay sane. He was begining to doubt the fact that they were out there, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to it. Not until he knew would he be certain of their deaths. Besides, they would never have gave up on him if he were lost. He shifted uncomfortabley. Of course in some way he was lost.  
Harper grabbed a device behind him that he had made from pieces of Rommie that could never work for those purposes agian. It was a device that scanned for any source of lifeforms. He figured the others had been beamed here with him only in seperate places. He sighed, looking wearily down at Rommie's parts. Since he had no sourced of technoligy there was no chance of fixing her out here. Even on the Andromeda the chances would have been very slim. He had basically dragged her wherever he went. Suddenly the device he held in his hands began to beep. His first reaction was shock until he felt a surge of excitment course through him. His eyes locked onto the screen. A lifeform. It was close.  
"Come on Rommie, we're going for a trip." He said rapidly as he gathered up the pieces and put them in a bag he had made. After slinging it over his shoulder he headed out of the cave he had been in. Without hesitation, and despite the weak state he was in, he bolted toward where he had seen the signs of life as his eyes kept flashing back to the device he held in his hands. He was almost there. He ran around a corner of a tall wall of rocks to come face to face with a women. He stumbled backwards, just catching himself before he fell. She had short black hair and a strange ring of cloth over her shoulders. Strips of cloth held down from the ring. The woman whipped out a gun, pointing it toward him threateningly. Her face told him she meant bussness.  
"Who are you?!" She snarled. He quickly raised his hands in deffense.  
"Harper!" He told her and quickley added, "Seamus Harper."  
"Why are you here?!" She continued.  
"Hey, easy." He told her, shooting a nervous glance to the gun. "I was stranded here a while ago." He explained. Her gun never wavered and her eyes narrowed. "How long?" She growled.  
"What is this, an interagation?" He demanded. She armed the weapon.  
"Alright, alright. I don't know, it's felt like years." He told her. She snorted.  
"Yea." She said bitterly, motioning for him to move.  
"Where are we going?" He asked nervously, but her only reply was a jab of the gun to his back.  
---PT-  
Marika had taken him to her fortress. After finding out how smart he actually was she ended up hiring him to help her. Over the first couple of weeks he continued to believe they would come for him or that he would eventually find them. He had even built a device to lock onto their specific life signs.  
---FB-  
"I think I've got it!" He exclaimed excitedly as he added the final touches to his device that sat on the desk before him. He beamed at it. This would scan for spesifically Trance's, Beka's, and the other's life signitures. It had taken him a lot of work but the device would even find them if they were off the planet itself.  
"What'd you get?" He jumped before turning around to see Marika looking at him stonily, her arms crossed.  
"Uh...nothing." He said hastily, puting on an innocint face.  
"Really?" She asked, strolling over toward him. She examined the machine for a moment. "What is it?" She asked, not bothering to look at him.  
"Er, well...it's a scanning device. For the entire planet." He went on unconvincigly. Her eyes locked on him.  
"Why would you build that?" She demanded.  
"To see if anyone's coming to, you know, stop your dream." He said, trying and failing to sound casual. Her eyes narrowed.  
"Harper, you should know by now you shouldn't lie to me." She growled coldly.  
"I'm not!" He insited.  
She suddenly slammed her hand agianst the desk the desk the machine sat on. Harper winced. After a moment he gave in.  
"Alright, alright." He said with a sigh. "See, during what free time I've had I built it." He explained, wanting to first point out the fact that the device hadn't hurt the progress of her "dream". "You already know how I'm already looking for my captian and everyone else who might've been beamed here." He went on, motioning to the machine.  
"You still believe they'll be coming for you?" She snorted, smirking as though the idea was funny "Well...uh." He started hesitantly "Don't be a fool Seamus!" She bursted out suddenly. "You don't really think they're going to appear here?" She demanded, her eyes flickering angrily. As she said this Harper recalled the story Marika had briefly told him. From what he had earlier gathered she was abandoned by her family here and so she persued the dream of brining the now dead Tarn Vedera back to life. "They're gone! They've left you!" She yelled, taking a step toward him. He instinctivley took a step back at this. "How can you even begin to think there's even a chance they're out there! They're not coming back!" She seethed. Without warning she took the device and thrust it to the ground. With a loud crash pieces scattered across the floor. He stared at her in disbelief as she left the room and as she died what she said seemed to slowly sink in. They weren't coming back. He grew numb as the realization finally hit him. They weren't coming back. Beka...Dyllan...Trance, and Rhade. They were never coming back. They had left him. They had abandoned him. He was alone. For once he was completley alone. Although so many people had died in his life he had always had someone there. On Earth it had been Brandon. Than on the Maru it had been Beka, Trance, and Rev. Than of course Dyllan and everyone else on the Andromeda. But now...now there was no one. He shut his eyes, his grip tightening on the piece in his hand. He was alone.  
---PT-  
Harper opened his eyes, finding the tears in them to grow heavier. After he had made this realization he spent all his time on his work; completley burrying himself in it. If any of the memories were ever brought up he always would burry himself deeper. Marika had hired an assistant for him and they grew close. Soon he was actually creating living things. Gogoyl, for example. They were apart of his new life.  
"What, no hello?" He jumped at the sudden voice, spinning around. When seeing it was Dyllan he quickly turned around, whiping the wretched tears from his eyes and hoping Dyllan hadn't seen them. He then cleared his throat and turned toward him.  
"Oh, Dyllan, hi." He stated. Maybe Dyllan had seen his tears, but he showed no signs of it.  
"I came by to tell you Rommie's transfer to Andromeda was sucessful. We're trying to do the repairs on Andromeda too." He explained. Harper nodded, his eyes falling to the floor. As he tried to pull himself together he reminded himself that Dyllan didn't care. To Harper, Dyllan and everyone else on Andromeda had died a long time ago.  
"That's great." Harper replied, turning back to his work. As Harper stared down at it, studying it, he found himself not even seeing the work before him. He couldn't consentrate, and that had never happened to him before.  
"What's this?" He turned around and he froze and his eyes widened when he found Dyllan to be holding the remenants of the device he had created so long ago. The device he had made to find Dyllan and the others that Marika had destroyed. Why was that thing still here?  
"Nothing! Put it down!" He snapped suddenly. He found himself surprised at his sudden reaction and it was apparent Dyllan was too. He set it down on the desk, his eye brow raised.  
"Okay, what was it?" He asked.  
"Nothing." Harper replied sourley, turning back around once sure it was on the desk.  
"Has to be something if you're so intent on me not touching it. I mean, you could have put it more politley." He pointed out. Harper just couldn't handle all this. He was perfectly fine until Dyllan and the others came strutting back into his life.  
"Just shut up!" He said, feeling his eyes burn with tears once more. He stood up, intending to leave, but to his shock felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Dyllan looking at him. Although he desperatley wanted to hide the tears wieghing in his eyes, he knew it was already too late.  
"What is it?" Dyllan asked agian. Harper hesitated, feeling suddenly helpless. He finally gave in.  
"It was a scanning device." He replied quitley. Dyllan remained silent, urging him to go on. Harper sighed, turning away. "It was meant to find you." He muttered.  
"What?" Dyllan asked, taken aback.  
"It was meant to find you!" Harper yelled suddenly, turning to look at him. He could no longer hold the tears and they broke free. "You know Dyllan, I spent the first two years completley alone! No Andromeda, no family, no Maru, it was just me! I actually believed I could find you! I actually believed you would come for me!" He yelled, suddenly grabbing the broken deivce from the desk. "I thought you would come back for me, but I was abandoned on this forsaken rock with no one!" He yelled angrily, throwing it onto the ground. Dyllan was silent as Harper took in deep breaths, feeling suddenly ashamed at his outburst.  
"We're here now Harper." He told him. Harper shot him a glare.  
"Yea, now. Now is not when I need you. I needed you when I was out wandering for days on end trying to find you; nearly starving to death and going insane. Or maybe once through those first two years when I was completley alone. Or when I needed someone to be there when no one was. Not now. Not right after I've moved on. Not after I've gotten a new life. Especially since I know you'll just end up leaving my life agian!" He yelled. Dyllan was still silent. Harper turned away and scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration.  
"Harper, you don't want this life." Dyllan said suddenly.  
"What?" Harper asked coldly, not bothering to turn around.  
"You don't want this life." Dyllan repeated simply. "We're back Harper." The words pierced through him, hurting more than he would have thought they would. "We're back, and for the moment we're not going anywhere." Dyllan said. Harper suddenly felt lost once more. He looked behind him at Dyllan hesitantly.  
"It was three years." He whispered helplessly.  
"I know." Dyllan said softly. Harper suddenly didn't know what to think. His heart was already weighed down heavily with pain. "Harper." Dyllan began, and Harper looked up at him. Dyllan flashed him a warm smile. "You're not alone anymore." With that last statement Harper felt the tears burning within his eyes slip once more. He gave Dyllan a hesitant smile, one which the captian returned.  
"You want to come back to the Andromeda?" Dyllan asked, nodding toward the door. Harper hesitated and suddenly frowned. He couldn't leave Gogoyl, his assistant and friend, and all his other creations here. He lowered his head hesitantly.  
"I can't." He said in almost a whisper, his gaze shooting up to Dyllan for but a second. "You guys...you came too late." He whispered. Dyllan nodded.  
"You can visit us anytime." He reminded Harper. Harper coughed nervously and nodded, still not raising his head to look at Dyllan.  
"Yea, sure." He replied.  
"And Mr.Harper." Dyllan said. Harper looked up to him agian. "Don't forget that you're not alone in this. We're all like family and we will get out of here." A small smile crept onto Harper's face for but a moment and he nodded.  
"Thanks Dyllan." He whispered. Dyllan nodded before turning toward the door. Harper watched him feeling a sudden relief wash through him. He felt like such a burden had been lifted from him as he remembered Dyllan's words. He wasn't alone.  
The End 


End file.
